My Changes

Where to start... well this road has been a long one. I have found out more about myself in the last year than I have in a very long time. It has been a dark year, full of tears and plain cold truth. The last few months, however, have been enlightened and full of grace. I can only thank the darkness for bringing that change to my life. It is the darkness that brought me to my knees and drove me to the light. It is the darkness that brought me to see my part in my pain. I now can own my pain and own my responsibility. I am learning how to take care of myself. Slowly, I am taking care of my body, my mind, my emotions, and my physical wellbeing. It is a process and I am just grasping change toward the better, but I know the door has opened now and the change will continue to flow greater and greater. I am welcoming the healing to come.

Today, I am focusing on taking care of my body and my financial well-being. I had ignored my body's demands for attention for many months due to my financial inability to pay for my needs. Or so I thought. I was really just choosing to through my money down a never ending pit called "other people's needs." So now it is time for me. Time for me to stop giving away my health and my sanity. Time for me to spend a few extra dollars on wholesome food. On alternative supplements. On the mammogram and ultrasound I needed months ago. On a biospy of the seven tumors that now linger in my left breast. This is the first step I will take to get healthy. And then I will take another.