The Journey of the Past

The past is full of fears, regrets, memories, and smiles. It is both pleasant and painful. I could never have dreamed my life would have held the twists and turns it did. You can plan and force your way through life, or you can simply enjoy the universe as it unfolds your journey in front of you. I tried, for a time, to impose my will on my life but the way of nature only laughed.

I miss some things I lost along the way. I miss people. I miss friends. I miss ideas. I miss ideals washed away by reality. Sometimes, I miss ignorance.

Some people were only with me for awhile and fell away with each chapter of my life as I grew. Some friends are still mysteries to me. Some, I thought, would be with me forever as kindred souls yet some strange force pulled them away. Some, are silently angry and will not tell me what grievance has come between us. Some, are just too busy.

Thoughts in my head have spun in circles beginning with severe confidence and ending in humble questions. As a teen, life had but to unfold in my hands and the world was at my command. My mind was rigid and brainwashed, a robotic version of budding human awakening. As a young adult, friends and education pried open my mind and allowed me to experience some of the "gray" areas, and loads of fun and laughter. As a working woman, life's tragedy hit me like a ton of bricks and I became wincingly aware of the evil humans participate in daily. I heard the cry of the poor, vulnerable, and unloved. Today, illusions have been stripped away and I realize the gravity of our human plight, the fragility of the earth, and the infinite deception of mankind. I know more truth than I ever have, but I have lost so many beautiful lies along the way...

I have learned to dig for truth. I have learned to never be so sure that I do not question. I have learned life can be lonely for a season and it can be full of friends. I have learn intimacy is always waiting for me. I have learned for sure there are no guarantees and everything is subject to change. We never step in the same river twice, I will never step out in the same sunshine and I will never kiss my same husband's lips twice. I am grateful for my experience today and for the change that brought me here - painful, delightful, challenging, and revealing - woven together. I have found love, wisdom, life, growth, ideas, and reality. And I am not even half way through yet! This time I do not even pretend to know what this crazy world intends to teach me next. I do know I expect it to be profound and wonderful.

What has life taught you so far? What do you miss most from your journey? And what is next for you? Please let me know and post your thoughts below. Or you can message me at defytheaverage@gmail.com

Thank you for reading!

Reset

It feels so good to be home. I have been getting back into the routine of my life here after a trip with my husband. Whenever I go through a change in my routine, I tend to naturally see my surroundings a little differently. It doesn't have to be a trip: just a shift in some aspect of my surroundings and activities. If I am sensitive to the change around me, it helps me appreciate what I have and be the best I can be. Changes in my life essentially help me hit a reset button.

I used to hate change and still find it uncomfortable. Even things that are good changes. Initially, it was strange for me to travel with my husband. I never realized how fixated I was on my work, ambitions, and day to day activities. Even though traveling seemed fun, it meant "having time" to leave my very busy life here. It meant a huge change of pace and scenery. Boy was I limiting myself. I will never ever get this time again. I am so glad that my husband - over and over again - has pushed me to save whatever money we can, take time off work, and experience some life changes (and a break). Although I love seeing new cultures and observing new people, what I really love and what moves me the most is getting a chance to "reset". I never understood what getting a break could really do for me. I seriously had not allowed myself to take a day off, just for fun, for years. Actually, not since I became an adult working full time...

Take a little time to experience something different than the usual. It's not earth shattering - but it seemed to be for me. By stepping aside from my usual routine, I was delighted to make a new discovery. Instead of returning to a feeling of being behind - instead of stress - I would come back motivated and thankful for even the small things in my life. I looked forward to getting back to the gym instead of dreading it. I had a refreshed passion to pour into my clients. I found myself going through clothes and jewelry, and organizing closets, and getting rid of unneeded possessions. How ridiculous that I ever pushed away an opportunity to clear my head and reset my life! I am so grateful to have discovered such a powerful tool. I believe we all need to be "reset" once in awhile to gain some perspective. A little gratitude. A little happiness. A little change. 

I realize traveling just isn't an option for many people. It wasn't for me for most of my life. Change has always been an option, however. Go experience something different. Maybe take a mini trip to the mountains (my personal, absolute favorite), or go on a small road trip. The most elaborate trips in the world do not compare to a simple, couple day drive through Yellowstone, or Glacier National Park. No matter who you are, there are some hidden options for you waiting to be discovered. Rest and refreshing is awaiting you. Please take it. Your life will thank you for it.

How are you living your life? Are you refreshed and motivated? Or are you tired and disgruntled with things? Can you allow yourself a break from the routine? Let me know your thoughts here or at defytheaverage@gmail.com