How often we feel offended in this life. Our feelings can be hurt almost every turn we make and we can be affected so badly our day can be ruined. No matter how much you love or respect someone, you cannot control their words and you will always run the risk of being hurt. Then, there are plenty of people who say damaging things full well knowing you could be offended.
How can we go through life dealing with hurtful words without being dragged down by them? Don Miguel Ruiz explains an agreement we can make with ourselves to protect ourselves from taking other people's "poison". He suggests we don't take anything personally ever. "If I see you on the street and say 'Hey, you are so stupid,'... If you take it personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid." - Don Miguel Ruiz. The concept here is that people make opinions and judgments based on themselves not you. If someone thinks you are stupid, that has nothing to do with what is actually true - it has to do with their beliefs and what they are working out within themselves. If you choose to take on that belief, you have chosen to allow a "poison" to affect you to your core.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where we believe everything we hear and interact with is about us. Me, me, me. In reality, life unfolds in its way with of without us. People will have their opinions with or without us. When we realize this truth, we are free of others' opinions and beliefs. Whatever they see in us that is disagreeable to them is simply a mirror, reflecting something they are dealing with within themselves. Knowing this frees us to never take another's opinion of us personally. If someone accuses you of being stupid, fat, morally depraved, or any number of things, it is your choice to take that on as truth, or let it go, knowing something within you made them uncomfortable and it had nothing to do with you at all.
We all have people in our lives we love and have disagreements with. How often are these disagreements caused by beliefs and opinions that are not personal? Oftentimes, I feel I have the need to defend myself against the opinions of others. I take things personally and feel that I must prove them wrong. All I do in those instances is eat another's poison when I could have let them keep it. This is a sad waste of energy and time when I could be using that energy to work out my own judgments and opinions of others. What are the things within myself that need clarifying and straightening? It is easy to point out the seemingly hurtful opinions of others, but what about our own? Other people's opinion of me is none of my business, but my opinion of others is absolutely my business.
How are you going to rid yourself of taking things personally today? How freeing is it to know it's not about you? I'd love to hear your thoughts here or in an email to defytheaverage@gmail.com
How can we go through life dealing with hurtful words without being dragged down by them? Don Miguel Ruiz explains an agreement we can make with ourselves to protect ourselves from taking other people's "poison". He suggests we don't take anything personally ever. "If I see you on the street and say 'Hey, you are so stupid,'... If you take it personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid." - Don Miguel Ruiz. The concept here is that people make opinions and judgments based on themselves not you. If someone thinks you are stupid, that has nothing to do with what is actually true - it has to do with their beliefs and what they are working out within themselves. If you choose to take on that belief, you have chosen to allow a "poison" to affect you to your core.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where we believe everything we hear and interact with is about us. Me, me, me. In reality, life unfolds in its way with of without us. People will have their opinions with or without us. When we realize this truth, we are free of others' opinions and beliefs. Whatever they see in us that is disagreeable to them is simply a mirror, reflecting something they are dealing with within themselves. Knowing this frees us to never take another's opinion of us personally. If someone accuses you of being stupid, fat, morally depraved, or any number of things, it is your choice to take that on as truth, or let it go, knowing something within you made them uncomfortable and it had nothing to do with you at all.
We all have people in our lives we love and have disagreements with. How often are these disagreements caused by beliefs and opinions that are not personal? Oftentimes, I feel I have the need to defend myself against the opinions of others. I take things personally and feel that I must prove them wrong. All I do in those instances is eat another's poison when I could have let them keep it. This is a sad waste of energy and time when I could be using that energy to work out my own judgments and opinions of others. What are the things within myself that need clarifying and straightening? It is easy to point out the seemingly hurtful opinions of others, but what about our own? Other people's opinion of me is none of my business, but my opinion of others is absolutely my business.
How are you going to rid yourself of taking things personally today? How freeing is it to know it's not about you? I'd love to hear your thoughts here or in an email to defytheaverage@gmail.com
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