As humans, we all have needs. Physical needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs. And we all have developed ways of obtaining what we need - sometimes in not the best kind of ways. We might manipulate. We might intimidate. We might run, sulk, demand, or cry hoping someone will see our great need and fill it. Whatever we have learned worked at one time or another - might just work again so we hold out hope. Most of us don't even know how to identify what it is we are searching for - asking for. We just know we want something. Those darn pesky needs would just be so much more convenient if they didn't exist.
Needs - just like hunger - are a natural part of our existence that require recognition. If we tried to pretend our hunger just wasn't there, we would eventually die. If we tried to eat candy to suffice the hunger of our bodies, we would also never feel satisfied. The same is true for our emotional and spiritual needs. There is a healthy "diet" if you will, to quench our deepest needs. Every need you have can be successfully filled to the point of nonexistence.
The first step is to identify what it is that your soul craves. A counselor or life coach can be helpful when you are trying to put together a list of your needs. Once you have identified the largest needs in your life, you must take an honest look at your life and assess where your needs are being met or not. Remember, your needs can be met through every area of your life so if you are trying to meet all of them through one area or one person - this is a good indication that you need to seek nourishment from other resources as well. I see this particularly in many romantic relationships. In fact, I used to do this myself. I was very disgruntled with many unmet needs simply because I did not look beyond my home for fulfillment. One person is not meant to meet every need. They can't. That is why each of us should build a strong, supportive world with friends and groups who are there when we feel empty.
Once you have identified your needs and how they relate to your outer world, brainstorm ideas about how to meet each of your needs. For example, if your need is acknowledgement, pick four or five friends to call you each day with an acknowledgement of your hard work, compassion, talent, etc. If your need is affection, enlist a few friends, family members, and your spouse to hug you, cuddle with you, or touch you in a loving way. The idea is to fulfill your need before you become empty. If you wait until you are resentful and upset about an unmet need, it is likely you will seek help in an unhealthy way. So fill yourself so full you do not have a single need in the world. Do not allow your needs to control you - they are simply a tool your soul uses to keep you happy and healthy. Relish it!
So what needs do you recognize in yourself today? Have you found a strategy to keep yourself emotionally and spiritually "full"? Let me know in a comment or in a message at defytheaverage@gmail.com!
Needs - just like hunger - are a natural part of our existence that require recognition. If we tried to pretend our hunger just wasn't there, we would eventually die. If we tried to eat candy to suffice the hunger of our bodies, we would also never feel satisfied. The same is true for our emotional and spiritual needs. There is a healthy "diet" if you will, to quench our deepest needs. Every need you have can be successfully filled to the point of nonexistence.
The first step is to identify what it is that your soul craves. A counselor or life coach can be helpful when you are trying to put together a list of your needs. Once you have identified the largest needs in your life, you must take an honest look at your life and assess where your needs are being met or not. Remember, your needs can be met through every area of your life so if you are trying to meet all of them through one area or one person - this is a good indication that you need to seek nourishment from other resources as well. I see this particularly in many romantic relationships. In fact, I used to do this myself. I was very disgruntled with many unmet needs simply because I did not look beyond my home for fulfillment. One person is not meant to meet every need. They can't. That is why each of us should build a strong, supportive world with friends and groups who are there when we feel empty.
Once you have identified your needs and how they relate to your outer world, brainstorm ideas about how to meet each of your needs. For example, if your need is acknowledgement, pick four or five friends to call you each day with an acknowledgement of your hard work, compassion, talent, etc. If your need is affection, enlist a few friends, family members, and your spouse to hug you, cuddle with you, or touch you in a loving way. The idea is to fulfill your need before you become empty. If you wait until you are resentful and upset about an unmet need, it is likely you will seek help in an unhealthy way. So fill yourself so full you do not have a single need in the world. Do not allow your needs to control you - they are simply a tool your soul uses to keep you happy and healthy. Relish it!
So what needs do you recognize in yourself today? Have you found a strategy to keep yourself emotionally and spiritually "full"? Let me know in a comment or in a message at defytheaverage@gmail.com!
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