You are the gatekeeper of your life. Every moment spent, you must make choices about what to leave in - and what to kick out - of your life. This can be a hard game to play because everywhere you turn there are expectations and requests galore. A person can easily fill up their schedule to the point that they have scheduled themselves out of any fun, family, or freedom... and yet we only get roughly 50 years of our adult lives to LIVE. It seems to me that time better be spent on YOU and not the whims of everyone else. Because it will fly by.
So let's talk about those expectations everyone seems to have on your time. #1 Your BOSS. So many people hand over their power to their boss. He says jump: you jump. He says speak: you speak. He says I need you to work overtime this week: you say "OK!" Even though you will miss your son's game. Even though you will not get any badly needed time with your husband. And most importantly even though you needed that time for yourself. You see, we seem to all like the illusion that we can say yes to everyone AND show up for ourselves AND show up for our priorities. We can't. It's yes to one and no the other.
What can I do? I can't say "no"! What if I get fired?? We were never meant to live in fear of our jobs. Your job is there to benefit you. Sure, you also benefit your employer - but that is not why you are there. Don't forget that. There are ALWAYS other jobs to be had if this one cannot respect your boundaries and your needs. Empower yourself by setting boundaries with your work. "No, that doesn't work for me." "I am not willing to work that day because I have other plans." "I am only willing to work x-number of hours." This is a healthy way of keeping your time sacred and making sure your life does not get claimed by your work.
What about everyone else? Mom wants me to come for family dinner every weekend. My friend needs help fixing her computer. My church needs me to help 3 days a week with a project. My brother is an alcoholic and needs my help.... The list could continue. Anywhere you turn you can pick up new tasks - some that aren't even requested, they are simply demanded. Again, you must keep your own time - your own life - sacred. A motto that has become helpful to me is "I can't do it if it isn't for fun or for free". At first, this sounds selfish and harsh. But is it? Using this motto doesn't mean that you never help or benefit anyone else: those things can be very fun and fulfilling. It does mean that nothing is done out of obligation or expectation. It means every action you take is genuine and unbegrudged. Help your loved ones out of desire and freedom - not out of duty, and not before you have taken time for yourself.
When I began setting limits on my work and relationships, I was able to start breathing. I refuse to work 40 hours a week anymore. I take at least an hour all to myself every morning. I take vacations with my beloved husband. I set aside time to read. All of these things make me feel fulfilled and whole.
How can you set aside uncompromised time for yourself? It may include taking risks like setting boundaries with your boss, husband, or family - but I want to know how you are stepping out and LIVING your own life. Let me know! Comment here or message me at defytheaverage@gmail.com
So let's talk about those expectations everyone seems to have on your time. #1 Your BOSS. So many people hand over their power to their boss. He says jump: you jump. He says speak: you speak. He says I need you to work overtime this week: you say "OK!" Even though you will miss your son's game. Even though you will not get any badly needed time with your husband. And most importantly even though you needed that time for yourself. You see, we seem to all like the illusion that we can say yes to everyone AND show up for ourselves AND show up for our priorities. We can't. It's yes to one and no the other.
What can I do? I can't say "no"! What if I get fired?? We were never meant to live in fear of our jobs. Your job is there to benefit you. Sure, you also benefit your employer - but that is not why you are there. Don't forget that. There are ALWAYS other jobs to be had if this one cannot respect your boundaries and your needs. Empower yourself by setting boundaries with your work. "No, that doesn't work for me." "I am not willing to work that day because I have other plans." "I am only willing to work x-number of hours." This is a healthy way of keeping your time sacred and making sure your life does not get claimed by your work.
What about everyone else? Mom wants me to come for family dinner every weekend. My friend needs help fixing her computer. My church needs me to help 3 days a week with a project. My brother is an alcoholic and needs my help.... The list could continue. Anywhere you turn you can pick up new tasks - some that aren't even requested, they are simply demanded. Again, you must keep your own time - your own life - sacred. A motto that has become helpful to me is "I can't do it if it isn't for fun or for free". At first, this sounds selfish and harsh. But is it? Using this motto doesn't mean that you never help or benefit anyone else: those things can be very fun and fulfilling. It does mean that nothing is done out of obligation or expectation. It means every action you take is genuine and unbegrudged. Help your loved ones out of desire and freedom - not out of duty, and not before you have taken time for yourself.
When I began setting limits on my work and relationships, I was able to start breathing. I refuse to work 40 hours a week anymore. I take at least an hour all to myself every morning. I take vacations with my beloved husband. I set aside time to read. All of these things make me feel fulfilled and whole.
How can you set aside uncompromised time for yourself? It may include taking risks like setting boundaries with your boss, husband, or family - but I want to know how you are stepping out and LIVING your own life. Let me know! Comment here or message me at defytheaverage@gmail.com
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