Sunday, January 22, 2012

Options

One of the greatest lessons I have been learning recently is the fact that I have options. And lots of them.  This has been SO empowering and liberating! Things used to seem so black and white for me all the time. I looked at a troubling situation and I saw two extreme options that both seemed awful. Here is simply one example: I really hated the jobs that I had over the past year. I used to look at my situation hopelessly because I saw two choices - either do what I love (work in a social field) and never make enough money to survive, or grit my teeth doing what I have no passion or talent for feeling totally unfulfilled and just barely squeak by every month. Sounds pretty bleak eh? Yea. It was. But the reason for my pitiful situation didn't have anything to do with reality. It was entirely due to my limited perspective.

I believed I only had two choices and they were both pretty miserable. In reality, I actually had an infinity of choices. I could have decided to change my physical demands so that I didn't need as much money. I could have gone back to school and lived off of student loans. I could have taken a huge risk and gone into business for myself. I could have allowed for the possibility that there might actually be social work positions available that I qualify for, that make enough money for me to survive on. Get the point? Plenty of choices - and these were only a few! Instead of considering the many options, for a long time, I was frozen in fear and kept myself limited and miserable. Not only was I limiting my choices in my job life, I was doing it in every area of my life. Relationships, money, school, health, etc... And it made me feel TRAPPED and ALONE.

Through the help of a few good friends, literature, and especially my God, I began to see all the gray areas surrounding me. And it is beautiful! I have no need to limit my choices to one extreme or the other; I have a variety of options at every given moment, and they change constantly. I now see each new situation as an opportunity for choices, instead of fearing the limitations. I am no longer a victim of my job, because I can choose to leave or stay according to what is best for me. I don't have to be a victim in my relationships, because I can choose to make boundaries, adjust boundaries, create distance, or remove distance. I am not a victim of my health, because I have plenty of options to take care of myself. See the solutions? Each of my choices will have a new consequence that will allow me plenty of new options. Isn't this freeing??

When I have the proper perspective about the many choices available to me, there is nothing to fear and only many possibilities of things to achieve. I am not always good at seeing my options, but they are always there waiting to be seen. Sometimes all I need is a little quiet in order to hear them. So what are some options that you overlook? What is a situation that you feel trapped in, where God is trying to get you to hear your options? How uncomfortable does it have to get before you begin to see your many choices available? Let me know: defytheaverage@gmail.com

1 comment:

  1. Fear often keeps us trapped. We don't see the options because we are so afraid of the consequences of change or failure. Nothing great ever happened without some change and some failure along the way!
    The courage to change the things I can! Keep up the good work Jill!

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