Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Affirmations:
I see beyond what is lost to what is being born.
I celebrate the life of those that I have lost by living mine to the fullest.
I am here to open my heart even more, the Love inside me is stronger than any pain I feel. Love is worth being open.
I celebrate the life of those that I have lost by living mine to the fullest.
I am here to open my heart even more, the Love inside me is stronger than any pain I feel. Love is worth being open.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Pace Yourself
Recently I have found myself feeling anxious and a little unmotivated. This is strange to me because I have a great desire to change many things in my life and I know that I have the drive it takes to achieve everything that I want. That's when it hit me. I often confuse feeling unmotivated with feeling overwhelmed. I have this weird tendancy to shut down and freeze when I don't feel capable of accomplishing what I have put on my plate. Once I feel overwhelmed, the very next thing I will experience is hopelessness and sabotage. It's like clockwork every time. Now that I know this about myself, it's time to break the cycle and push forward.
What is it that causes me to get overwhelmed and short out? Trying to achieve every goal I have, all in one moment. When I choose to do it all RIGHT NOW, I set myself up for burn out and feelings of being overwhelmed. It is great to see things that need to change, but it is quite another thing to physically tackle changing each endeavor. There is a reason God gave us a whole life to learn and grow. He never intended for us to figure it all out at once. Sometimes, He even intends for us to sit with an uncomfortable situation for awhile just to learn an entirely different lesson: patience, perseverance, compassion, and acceptance. I have not been so good at learning these things when dealing with my own personal battles. I get uncomfortable with my own defects and my own unaccomplished dreams. I get ashamed that I haven't done it all already. What I must take from this is that I have to take each step as they come. And I must be gentle with myself when I choose to take each scary leap of faith.
When I allow myself to take a smaller plate full of things to change in my life, perhaps I will not short out so quickly. Maybe I won't sabotage the progress I have made. Maybe I can accept a steady process of change throughout, instead of a "world-upside-down" change all at once. I still have many many changes I deeply wish to make in myself and my surroundings, but I see the value of taking things just one step at a time. I am going to practice this principle in my life and have faith that God knows the pace that is best for me.
Do you have a hard time pacing yourself? Do you stop dead in your tracks when the thought of everything you "have" to do slaps you in the face? Do you feel ashamed that you haven't accomplished the dreams that you always wanted and feel puzzled when you try to figure out why you haven't finished them yet? Maybe you haven't allowed them to unfold in the time that they were meant to happen. Sometimes patient persistence is that one lesson we haven't quite grasped yet. Let me know how you plan to take that next step in your journey.
What is it that causes me to get overwhelmed and short out? Trying to achieve every goal I have, all in one moment. When I choose to do it all RIGHT NOW, I set myself up for burn out and feelings of being overwhelmed. It is great to see things that need to change, but it is quite another thing to physically tackle changing each endeavor. There is a reason God gave us a whole life to learn and grow. He never intended for us to figure it all out at once. Sometimes, He even intends for us to sit with an uncomfortable situation for awhile just to learn an entirely different lesson: patience, perseverance, compassion, and acceptance. I have not been so good at learning these things when dealing with my own personal battles. I get uncomfortable with my own defects and my own unaccomplished dreams. I get ashamed that I haven't done it all already. What I must take from this is that I have to take each step as they come. And I must be gentle with myself when I choose to take each scary leap of faith.
When I allow myself to take a smaller plate full of things to change in my life, perhaps I will not short out so quickly. Maybe I won't sabotage the progress I have made. Maybe I can accept a steady process of change throughout, instead of a "world-upside-down" change all at once. I still have many many changes I deeply wish to make in myself and my surroundings, but I see the value of taking things just one step at a time. I am going to practice this principle in my life and have faith that God knows the pace that is best for me.
Do you have a hard time pacing yourself? Do you stop dead in your tracks when the thought of everything you "have" to do slaps you in the face? Do you feel ashamed that you haven't accomplished the dreams that you always wanted and feel puzzled when you try to figure out why you haven't finished them yet? Maybe you haven't allowed them to unfold in the time that they were meant to happen. Sometimes patient persistence is that one lesson we haven't quite grasped yet. Let me know how you plan to take that next step in your journey.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Inside
“When the voice and the vision on the inside become more profound and more clear and loud than the opinions on the outside, you’ve mastered your life.”
love
- John Demartini
Forget the money
If u don't love it without the money you won't love it with the money. - Todd Siler
Learning
I believe Christmas week is always learning packed, every year. That's why it is so exhausting. We learn about ourselves. We learn about those we love. And we feel many many emotions. It is natural because it is the culmination of a past year's final moments. It is the product of our months of hard work to get ready for this ONE WEEK. Not only is it difficult to deal with our own intense emotions, but it can really be a challenge to watch those we love struggle with their own feelings. This is where I struggle the most. Watching. And just being there, with them, and with their feelings.
I was around many many people that I deeply love this week and they were each feeling very different things. Several people felt urgency and chaos as they attempted to create exactly what they felt was expected of them. Stress and tension leaked into the air as my loved ones tried to get the perfect gifts, create the perfect dinner, with the perfect people, at the perfect time. And when you are speaking in perfect terms... well it just never works out quite like that. As I watched my loved ones attempt to force things to go the "perfect" way in each situation, it was very difficult for me not to rescue, not to change my own plans, not to become anxious because of their dilemmas. Just let me fix it... no really... Ugh. That never really works does it.
This brought out a character trait of mine for me to ponder. I do not feel comfortable when those around me are distressed and anxious. It makes me nervous, and most of all, it causes me to feel guilty. I have no reason to feel guilty. I have done nothing wrong, but I always feel like I need to do something to make the irritation go away. As I step away from the situation, I can see that their feelings are really none of my business and they are more than capable of handling their own difficulties that comes along with the season. All I must do is take care of my own needs and when I truly carry only the burdens that I was meant to carry, it is actually a very reasonable load. And this is nothing that I need to feel guilty about. Sometimes I feel the need to take on other people's stresses because I feel it's not fair that they are stressed out and I am not... so I'll just join in with them. Silly eh?? Yea. When I really think about it, it simply does not help anyone out when I take on their chaos or stress. It doesn't make them feel better and it doesn't make the situation any lighter. It only robs me of my own sanity.
So as I process my reaction to others' feelings this week, I am struck by many truths. My misplaced feelings of guilt, my compulsion to take care of other people, and my doubt in others' ability to handle the situation gifted to them by God shows me my lack of belief in my God's desire to take care of His people and reveals doubt in my own value. I think I have had a few work-ons uncovered for me as I head on into my journey of 2012. I am blessed to have been given a gift of awareness this holiday week. This year, I desire to learn to love my dearest friends and family through their pain and their joy equally. I want to learn to cherish each moment, without trying to change or "fix" the situation. I want to value myself, by taking on only the burdens meant for me and leaving the rest to God and those on their own journey of learning. And I want to BELIEVE that the best thing possible is in store for them, WITHOUT me sticking my nose in their business. I want to learn to let the chaos go on around me, without feeling guilty that I am not part of it. This is my wish for 2012.
What is it that you have learned about yourself this week? How have you reacted to others' feelings and crises going on around you? Have you been given a few insights about things that need a tune up this new year? I'd love to hear about it! Let me know at defytheaverage@gmail.com
I was around many many people that I deeply love this week and they were each feeling very different things. Several people felt urgency and chaos as they attempted to create exactly what they felt was expected of them. Stress and tension leaked into the air as my loved ones tried to get the perfect gifts, create the perfect dinner, with the perfect people, at the perfect time. And when you are speaking in perfect terms... well it just never works out quite like that. As I watched my loved ones attempt to force things to go the "perfect" way in each situation, it was very difficult for me not to rescue, not to change my own plans, not to become anxious because of their dilemmas. Just let me fix it... no really... Ugh. That never really works does it.
This brought out a character trait of mine for me to ponder. I do not feel comfortable when those around me are distressed and anxious. It makes me nervous, and most of all, it causes me to feel guilty. I have no reason to feel guilty. I have done nothing wrong, but I always feel like I need to do something to make the irritation go away. As I step away from the situation, I can see that their feelings are really none of my business and they are more than capable of handling their own difficulties that comes along with the season. All I must do is take care of my own needs and when I truly carry only the burdens that I was meant to carry, it is actually a very reasonable load. And this is nothing that I need to feel guilty about. Sometimes I feel the need to take on other people's stresses because I feel it's not fair that they are stressed out and I am not... so I'll just join in with them. Silly eh?? Yea. When I really think about it, it simply does not help anyone out when I take on their chaos or stress. It doesn't make them feel better and it doesn't make the situation any lighter. It only robs me of my own sanity.
So as I process my reaction to others' feelings this week, I am struck by many truths. My misplaced feelings of guilt, my compulsion to take care of other people, and my doubt in others' ability to handle the situation gifted to them by God shows me my lack of belief in my God's desire to take care of His people and reveals doubt in my own value. I think I have had a few work-ons uncovered for me as I head on into my journey of 2012. I am blessed to have been given a gift of awareness this holiday week. This year, I desire to learn to love my dearest friends and family through their pain and their joy equally. I want to learn to cherish each moment, without trying to change or "fix" the situation. I want to value myself, by taking on only the burdens meant for me and leaving the rest to God and those on their own journey of learning. And I want to BELIEVE that the best thing possible is in store for them, WITHOUT me sticking my nose in their business. I want to learn to let the chaos go on around me, without feeling guilty that I am not part of it. This is my wish for 2012.
What is it that you have learned about yourself this week? How have you reacted to others' feelings and crises going on around you? Have you been given a few insights about things that need a tune up this new year? I'd love to hear about it! Let me know at defytheaverage@gmail.com
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Accept What You Cannot Change
Sometimes acceptance is the hardest thing to do. It is so easy to get angry at the outcome of a situation that just didn't go my way. It is so easy to complain and feel like something just wasn't fair. It's so easy to think that someone else had it so much easier... Even though it can feel good to let myself slip into this type of thinking pattern, it is soooo unhealthy. Thoughts like this can get me into the most negative mood. Can somebody say pity party?? The worst part is that as tempting as these feelings are, in the long run they are a real kill joy. They can just take the life right out of you and leave you feeling empty and hopeless.
I have learned some simple but valuable tools to handle my own destructive thoughts. When I notice my thoughts drifting towards feeling taken advantage of, or angry because of a "stupid" outcome, I have to ask myself if it is something I can change. If it is something I can change, I should simply take action instead of complaining. If it is something I have no control over, I must accept it and let it go. Thinking of the negatives will not change the outcome or make the situation any better. Furthermore, allowing myself to believe that an experience wasn't fair ultimately causes me to doubt in my God's best wishes for me. When I bring myself back to what I truly believe, I know that nothing happens without God not only knowing what He is doing, but also doing it in my absolute best interest. I may not understand it, and it may not be pleasant, but it is exactly what I need. Always.
Taking a step towards acceptance or action is the first move leading to healing and away from misery. I have to constantly remind myself that if I can't control it (and usually I can't) there is no use worrying/resenting/fighting it. I can choose many many things in my life, but there will aways be a few things that require patience and love. This is still beautiful. This is growth and the shaping of our being. So what is it that you get mad at, shake your fist at God, or feel that you weren't treated fairly? Are you wasting your time worrying and resenting something that will never change? Or fearing something that you will never have control over? What do you have the power to change today and how can you take steps toward THAT? Direct all of your power and energy toward something that you will rock at changing and just sit back and watch in awe. God gave you a potential that is just waiting to be accessed and used. It's all about what you use your time for. So make it count.
I have learned some simple but valuable tools to handle my own destructive thoughts. When I notice my thoughts drifting towards feeling taken advantage of, or angry because of a "stupid" outcome, I have to ask myself if it is something I can change. If it is something I can change, I should simply take action instead of complaining. If it is something I have no control over, I must accept it and let it go. Thinking of the negatives will not change the outcome or make the situation any better. Furthermore, allowing myself to believe that an experience wasn't fair ultimately causes me to doubt in my God's best wishes for me. When I bring myself back to what I truly believe, I know that nothing happens without God not only knowing what He is doing, but also doing it in my absolute best interest. I may not understand it, and it may not be pleasant, but it is exactly what I need. Always.
Taking a step towards acceptance or action is the first move leading to healing and away from misery. I have to constantly remind myself that if I can't control it (and usually I can't) there is no use worrying/resenting/fighting it. I can choose many many things in my life, but there will aways be a few things that require patience and love. This is still beautiful. This is growth and the shaping of our being. So what is it that you get mad at, shake your fist at God, or feel that you weren't treated fairly? Are you wasting your time worrying and resenting something that will never change? Or fearing something that you will never have control over? What do you have the power to change today and how can you take steps toward THAT? Direct all of your power and energy toward something that you will rock at changing and just sit back and watch in awe. God gave you a potential that is just waiting to be accessed and used. It's all about what you use your time for. So make it count.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Christmas Chaos or Christmas Peace?
As I have said before, in the past, I have had a hard time with the holidays. They can be so stressful and chaotic. There's the added family drama, the financial stress, the disruption of the "normal" schedule, and all of the expectations that come with that "perfect" day. Since I know that these are the things that make the holidays unpleasant and stressful for me, I have chosen to simply eliminate most of those issues. I found that most of the things that really bothered me, were all things that I could choose to change or they were things that weren't my business at all.
This year, I have done my best to strip away all the expectations. I truly believe that once we accept an open mind to new and different experiences each holiday season, we allow ourselves to create new beauty and joy. Too often I find that I wish things would have just worked out like such and such year, or that I could repeat an experience or meal, or relationship that happened before. When I sit around expecting things to be the way they WERE, I rob myself of what COULD BE. The beauty of the holidays is that we are creating new family traditions, new meals, a new idea of gifts, of events, and of that "perfect" day. When I choose to let this be my wish and my truth and let go of the past, I find true contentment.
I will never have these experiences again. My relationships will never be exactly where they are now. The drama will be different, the peace will be different. I can choose to simply let the drama float past me if it is not my business. I can choose to embrace the peaceful moments. I can choose to not get involved, and I can choose to take care of me. I do not have to listen to demands, no matter how loud they are, if they really have nothing to do with me. I don't HAVE to buy a million Christmas presents if I don't have the money, and I can trust that everyone will KNOW how much I love them anyway. I can accept the natural flow of Christmas day, regardless of whether or not it is like "that one year." I can be content with what my God chooses to bless me with - which is EXACTLY what I need. I will simply choose to take the next indicated step each moment of the day.
Such simple changes yield strangely powerful results. I am content this year. I really am enjoying myself and this season. I know I will enjoy Christmas, no matter what chaos goes on around me. I could not have guessed just how much "letting go and letting God" would change my entire experience. I am truly blessed and grateful. How are you handling the holidays? Are you trying to make everything go your way? Or can you simply let go and believe that someone much bigger than you is totally in control of everything? Because He is. And He wants to make Christmas great for you. Merry Christmas!
This year, I have done my best to strip away all the expectations. I truly believe that once we accept an open mind to new and different experiences each holiday season, we allow ourselves to create new beauty and joy. Too often I find that I wish things would have just worked out like such and such year, or that I could repeat an experience or meal, or relationship that happened before. When I sit around expecting things to be the way they WERE, I rob myself of what COULD BE. The beauty of the holidays is that we are creating new family traditions, new meals, a new idea of gifts, of events, and of that "perfect" day. When I choose to let this be my wish and my truth and let go of the past, I find true contentment.
I will never have these experiences again. My relationships will never be exactly where they are now. The drama will be different, the peace will be different. I can choose to simply let the drama float past me if it is not my business. I can choose to embrace the peaceful moments. I can choose to not get involved, and I can choose to take care of me. I do not have to listen to demands, no matter how loud they are, if they really have nothing to do with me. I don't HAVE to buy a million Christmas presents if I don't have the money, and I can trust that everyone will KNOW how much I love them anyway. I can accept the natural flow of Christmas day, regardless of whether or not it is like "that one year." I can be content with what my God chooses to bless me with - which is EXACTLY what I need. I will simply choose to take the next indicated step each moment of the day.
Such simple changes yield strangely powerful results. I am content this year. I really am enjoying myself and this season. I know I will enjoy Christmas, no matter what chaos goes on around me. I could not have guessed just how much "letting go and letting God" would change my entire experience. I am truly blessed and grateful. How are you handling the holidays? Are you trying to make everything go your way? Or can you simply let go and believe that someone much bigger than you is totally in control of everything? Because He is. And He wants to make Christmas great for you. Merry Christmas!
Mistakes
"Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible."
- Cherie-Carter Scotts, is an Author, life coach, and motivational speaker.
- Cherie-Carter Scotts, is an Author, life coach, and motivational speaker.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Money, money, money
I used to say I hated money. I used to believe in following your dreams instead of chasing money. I used to have faith that enough money would always follow those that listened to their calling. I used to hate what money stood for. Well, I still hate money.
Although I resent money more than I ever did, I feel that lately I have fallen into chasing money more than I ever have. Why? Because I have been living terrified of the idea of not having enough. I have fallen away from living in faith that NO MATTER WHAT, I will choose to live my calling and believe that my needs will be met/exceeded. I have been so scared of losing what I have, that I am unwilling to risk stepping out for MORE! I have been chasing money. The strange thing is, the more intensely I have pursued money, the more I loathe it.
These ideas have hit me like a brick in the last few weeks. Pursuing security and just enough money to get by has made me miserable and hasn't even really paid of financially. So today I am trying on a new perspective. I am simply going to work my way back to living my calling and I am going to have faith that my needs will be met in the process. It will be a struggle, but it already is one anyway. At least this way, I will not only be happy but I will also be doing exactly what I was made to do.
What about you? Have you been living to survive? Do you chase money in hopes of keeping what you have instead of dreaming something bigger? Do you work a job that does not fulfill you simply because you are scared that doing what you are called to do won't pay the bills? How is that working for you? Are you happy? What could you change a little at a time? What is the next indicated step? You would be amazed at the joy and life that is just waiting to burst out of you as you take a risk and follow your dreams.
Although I resent money more than I ever did, I feel that lately I have fallen into chasing money more than I ever have. Why? Because I have been living terrified of the idea of not having enough. I have fallen away from living in faith that NO MATTER WHAT, I will choose to live my calling and believe that my needs will be met/exceeded. I have been so scared of losing what I have, that I am unwilling to risk stepping out for MORE! I have been chasing money. The strange thing is, the more intensely I have pursued money, the more I loathe it.
These ideas have hit me like a brick in the last few weeks. Pursuing security and just enough money to get by has made me miserable and hasn't even really paid of financially. So today I am trying on a new perspective. I am simply going to work my way back to living my calling and I am going to have faith that my needs will be met in the process. It will be a struggle, but it already is one anyway. At least this way, I will not only be happy but I will also be doing exactly what I was made to do.
What about you? Have you been living to survive? Do you chase money in hopes of keeping what you have instead of dreaming something bigger? Do you work a job that does not fulfill you simply because you are scared that doing what you are called to do won't pay the bills? How is that working for you? Are you happy? What could you change a little at a time? What is the next indicated step? You would be amazed at the joy and life that is just waiting to burst out of you as you take a risk and follow your dreams.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Affirmations:
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Faith
Today I write this blog full of thanksgiving and awe. Recently, God has been teaching me about doing the right thing for myself regardless of my fears. Especially in the area of health, I have allowed finances to rule my decisions. I have allowed myself to believe "I can't afford to be healthy, so oh well." No! This attitude has served me horribly. If you have read my previous blogs, you know that I experienced a major health upset over the last year. I was diagnosed with six tumors in my breast. Again, my financial fears had kicked in. "I can't get treatment, because I don't have the money." Well with the help of some very wise women in my life, I was able to identify how twisted my thinking had become. After talking it over, I was able to make the decision to go ahead with the ultrasound, mammogram, biopsy, and dieting that was required to treat my specific health issues. This was so scary for me because I had no idea where the money was going to come from, but I knew my duty was to walk my path in faith that my God would take care of me.
So I had the treatments and applied for every grant I could. I was told the ultrasound and biopsy were covered through the Susan G Komen foundation, however I was TOO YOUNG for the grant for the biopsy! Too young to get treatment??? This made me furious for awhile, because I thought it was ridiculous that it made one bit of difference that I was not 30 years old. After I allowed my anger to settle down, I decided to go through with the biopsy and let God take care of it. Well, I was slammed with a $2,500 bill. Ouch. Again, the fears in my head reared their voices. "You made the wrong choice! See you should have remembered that the only one looking out for you is YOU." I was temped to feel very let down and burdened by the debt. It was upsetting, but I chose to give this "let go and let God" thing a chance.
Yesterday, I went to grab the mail after work as usual. I had gotten an envelop from St Lukes and was dreading opening it, because I really couldn't stomach looking at another bill. As I opened the seal, I could not believe my eyes... "Balance: $0.00. You qualified for financial assistance IN FULL. If you have any questions..." WOW! It really does work friends! Faith does pay off. God wants you to make the right choices for you, every time, no matter what. He will take care of the rest. He may not always answer me in the way He did this time, but I know that whatever His answer is, it is simply part of my destined path. I can rest assured that if I am true to me and true to what I KNOW is right for me, it will pay off every single time.
What is it that you struggled with to have faith? Is there a way you have chosen not to be true to yourself because you have doubts and fears about the outcome? Believe me, your God is waiting for you to trust Him and show you how loved you are!
So I had the treatments and applied for every grant I could. I was told the ultrasound and biopsy were covered through the Susan G Komen foundation, however I was TOO YOUNG for the grant for the biopsy! Too young to get treatment??? This made me furious for awhile, because I thought it was ridiculous that it made one bit of difference that I was not 30 years old. After I allowed my anger to settle down, I decided to go through with the biopsy and let God take care of it. Well, I was slammed with a $2,500 bill. Ouch. Again, the fears in my head reared their voices. "You made the wrong choice! See you should have remembered that the only one looking out for you is YOU." I was temped to feel very let down and burdened by the debt. It was upsetting, but I chose to give this "let go and let God" thing a chance.
Yesterday, I went to grab the mail after work as usual. I had gotten an envelop from St Lukes and was dreading opening it, because I really couldn't stomach looking at another bill. As I opened the seal, I could not believe my eyes... "Balance: $0.00. You qualified for financial assistance IN FULL. If you have any questions..." WOW! It really does work friends! Faith does pay off. God wants you to make the right choices for you, every time, no matter what. He will take care of the rest. He may not always answer me in the way He did this time, but I know that whatever His answer is, it is simply part of my destined path. I can rest assured that if I am true to me and true to what I KNOW is right for me, it will pay off every single time.
What is it that you struggled with to have faith? Is there a way you have chosen not to be true to yourself because you have doubts and fears about the outcome? Believe me, your God is waiting for you to trust Him and show you how loved you are!
Friday, December 9, 2011
Say "no" when you need to!
"Success depends on getting good at saying no without feeling guilty. You cannot get ahead with your own goals if you are always saying yes to someone else's projects. You can only get ahead with your desired lifestyle if you are focused on the things that will produce that lifestyle."
- Jack Canfield, co-author of "Chicken Soup for the Soul".
- Jack Canfield, co-author of "Chicken Soup for the Soul".
Thursday, December 8, 2011
What Do You Own?
We all have our own problems and pain to own and address, but how often do we take on the pain of those around us? I like to own LOTS of junk that isn't mine, unfortunately. I get to feeling guilty if I meet someone who doesn't have a home, doesn't have a ride to work, doesn't have a supportive family, doesn't have lunch to eat, doesn't have a phone, doesn't have a great relationship, doesn't have money, etc etc... Most of the time, I fall into the trap of allowing myself to take the blame for all sorts of things that I didn't have any control over, and then I end up trying to fix a problem that was never mine to begin with. If I could simply stop for a mintute to examine the situation, usually I can see how that person's actions allowed them to have the consequences they are experiencing and it is NONE of my business.
I have no business rescuing my dear friends from consequences that God has chosen to let them experience. In fact, it is detrimental to step in the way of a path that God has created for that person's good. If I had not had some of the failures that I have and do experience, I would not be the person that I am today. Now, although this is a loving perspective to have toward my beloved sojorners, I tend to become uncomfortable with others' pain to the point that I allow judgment to creep in. If I can't fix it... then let me judge it. Oh boy. Somehow this makes me feel distanced from others' pain that I so desperately do not want to feel guilty about. My mind screams in justification: "it's not my fault!" And goodness, who do I even need to convince?
Now that I am aware of this tendancy, I have really pondered the approriate way to handle the uncomfort of pain. I believe balanced and loving response to those around me experiencing their own pain is to love them through it. It took me a long time to realize that I could genuinely love someone without rescuing them from their experience. I can empathize without feeling guilty OR judgmental. If I tried to own everyone's pain, I would become emotionally and physically drained. Believe me, I've done it. I don't think I have ever felt so miserable as when I attempted to take care of everyone but myself. I was never meant to have that kind of power. On the flip side, when I am content with what I am SUPPOSED to own, I am much happier.
It is still stretching to watch those that I love go through painful circumstances. Although sometimes I feel uncomfortable, I try to keep my focus on loving them and letting them own their own journey. Pain is part of life, and it is not my job to make it go away. How do you react to painful experiences around you? Do you own them? Or do you love people THROUGH them?
I have no business rescuing my dear friends from consequences that God has chosen to let them experience. In fact, it is detrimental to step in the way of a path that God has created for that person's good. If I had not had some of the failures that I have and do experience, I would not be the person that I am today. Now, although this is a loving perspective to have toward my beloved sojorners, I tend to become uncomfortable with others' pain to the point that I allow judgment to creep in. If I can't fix it... then let me judge it. Oh boy. Somehow this makes me feel distanced from others' pain that I so desperately do not want to feel guilty about. My mind screams in justification: "it's not my fault!" And goodness, who do I even need to convince?
Now that I am aware of this tendancy, I have really pondered the approriate way to handle the uncomfort of pain. I believe balanced and loving response to those around me experiencing their own pain is to love them through it. It took me a long time to realize that I could genuinely love someone without rescuing them from their experience. I can empathize without feeling guilty OR judgmental. If I tried to own everyone's pain, I would become emotionally and physically drained. Believe me, I've done it. I don't think I have ever felt so miserable as when I attempted to take care of everyone but myself. I was never meant to have that kind of power. On the flip side, when I am content with what I am SUPPOSED to own, I am much happier.
It is still stretching to watch those that I love go through painful circumstances. Although sometimes I feel uncomfortable, I try to keep my focus on loving them and letting them own their own journey. Pain is part of life, and it is not my job to make it go away. How do you react to painful experiences around you? Do you own them? Or do you love people THROUGH them?
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Affirmations:
I celebrate when things don't go my way because I know Grace is in this!
I let go and let God guide my path.
I see the Grace within the chaos.
I let go and let God guide my path.
I see the Grace within the chaos.
Let go and let God
"If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace." ~Ajahn Chah
Survival
Oh how I hate thee. Fear. I had never considered myself to be a fearful person until I really started thinking about it the last few months. I am scared of LOTS of stuff. I am scared of money and whether I will have enough to keep making my bills on time. I'm scared of the future, and if I will be able to pursue my dreams. I'm scared of my job, because what if I just don't cut it? Or what if I get laid off due to financial difficulty? I am scared of relationships and the unpredictibility of losing people. Most of all, I am scared of myself. There is a deep fear that I am just not good enough. That I might just slip up and fail financially, relationally, educationally, spiritually, in my job, and just at LIFE. It's irrational, I know. And it holds me back more than I can imagine. I end up living to survive instead of living to ENJOY myself.
There is another part of me however, that believes that I am talented. A talented healer, counselor, writer, poet, photographer, nutritionist, cook, student, fiance, and friend. This person dies to reach out of me and take hold of my lifestyle everyday and every moment. Someday, I will be brave enough to not just let her out every once in awhile, but I will actually let her take over. Maybe someday I will actually trust enough to allow this side of me to make a living for myself and become my fullest and highest potential. Someday.
My fear holds this person back.
Each day, I will address my fears a little at a time. They may be too big for me to face all at once for today, but they are not too big if I tackle them as God gives me the strength one day at a time. Maybe eventually I will be fearless enough to run my own business and earn my doctorate! Maybe one day I will not feel the overwhelming need to survive, I will just live confidently instead. What is a dream of yours that does not get accomplished because of fear?
There is another part of me however, that believes that I am talented. A talented healer, counselor, writer, poet, photographer, nutritionist, cook, student, fiance, and friend. This person dies to reach out of me and take hold of my lifestyle everyday and every moment. Someday, I will be brave enough to not just let her out every once in awhile, but I will actually let her take over. Maybe someday I will actually trust enough to allow this side of me to make a living for myself and become my fullest and highest potential. Someday.
My fear holds this person back.
Each day, I will address my fears a little at a time. They may be too big for me to face all at once for today, but they are not too big if I tackle them as God gives me the strength one day at a time. Maybe eventually I will be fearless enough to run my own business and earn my doctorate! Maybe one day I will not feel the overwhelming need to survive, I will just live confidently instead. What is a dream of yours that does not get accomplished because of fear?
Sunday, December 4, 2011
What Do You Judge?
I would like to share my recent inspiration to be healthy. You know I used to be one of those people that complained about how unhealthy our society was, how the obesity rate was out of control, how too many people ate fast food and how awful grocery store food had gotten to be... All the while, I was: eating fast food, making fattening food at home, drinking coffee by the pot, skipping meals, and in general participating in all the habits I claimed to hate. What a hypocrite right?
Sheesh. Well recently I had a wake up call. About nine months ago, I was diagnosed with 6 tumors in my breast. Even though they were thought to be benign, they were growing at an enormous pace and getting uncomfortable. I started taking better care of myself, right? Nope. I totally shut out the way my body was feeling because I was too afraid to face it. So eight months went by. With the help of a good friend, I was able to recognize this character defect and see the need to begin taking better care of myself. This led me to get another ultrasound, which led to a biopsy. Now God was very gracious to me, because those tumors ended up being benign. But I think I got the hint.
So instead of simply judging everyone else for being unhealthy, I decided to take care of what I could change: my own health. I have now successfully been taking healthy supplements and eating healthy foods for over two months. I feel great. Not only that, my mind has gotten healthier. I don't have to feel guilty anymore for perpetuating a lifestyle I don't agree with. Yea, it's been a challenge. It can take a little extra time to find the organic foods, the non-dairy, and the low sugar foods. It can take extra effort to make a healthy dish. But it is soooo worth it.
It might not be healthy eating that is a struggle for you. What is that one thing that you judge society for, but you are just as guilty of? Can you take a step and change what you can today? You will never be able to change society, but if we all change what we can about ourselves: we can truly make difference.
Sheesh. Well recently I had a wake up call. About nine months ago, I was diagnosed with 6 tumors in my breast. Even though they were thought to be benign, they were growing at an enormous pace and getting uncomfortable. I started taking better care of myself, right? Nope. I totally shut out the way my body was feeling because I was too afraid to face it. So eight months went by. With the help of a good friend, I was able to recognize this character defect and see the need to begin taking better care of myself. This led me to get another ultrasound, which led to a biopsy. Now God was very gracious to me, because those tumors ended up being benign. But I think I got the hint.
So instead of simply judging everyone else for being unhealthy, I decided to take care of what I could change: my own health. I have now successfully been taking healthy supplements and eating healthy foods for over two months. I feel great. Not only that, my mind has gotten healthier. I don't have to feel guilty anymore for perpetuating a lifestyle I don't agree with. Yea, it's been a challenge. It can take a little extra time to find the organic foods, the non-dairy, and the low sugar foods. It can take extra effort to make a healthy dish. But it is soooo worth it.
It might not be healthy eating that is a struggle for you. What is that one thing that you judge society for, but you are just as guilty of? Can you take a step and change what you can today? You will never be able to change society, but if we all change what we can about ourselves: we can truly make difference.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Is It Really Worth It?
"Before we get angry at someone else for the way our lives are, let us look within and see how we have participated in creating our life to this moment. And then let us take full responsibility for our lives and begin to build a new and miraculous life one day at a time with the powerful Uni-verse. We can do amazing things when we remain calm within the center of the storm and take full responsibility for our lives.
At our very core, we were born to be the full unique expression of Love that we are. When we do this, miracles happen and we step into a way of living and being that far surpasses even our own understanding. It requires that we take responsibility, focus on the solution and find peace within the chaos of our lives." - Mastin Kipp
I read this today and felt a wave of conviction. Oftentimes it is just second nature to pass the blame off to someone else for the situations in my life. I had a moment today where I was angry, pissed off, feeling very sorry for myself, and out of my mind in a paniced frenzy. I had allowed my thoughts to get out of control, but took no credit for it. In my chaos that seemed so big, I could barely function in the tasks that I was doing at the time. I was flustered. The words of a friend echoed in my mind: "if it is urgent, it's probably not important; if it is important, it probably is not urgent." So, I focused on grounding my mind. My situation really was not as HUGE as I was making it. People deal with lots of bigger things. Then, I started to see how little responsibility I had taken for the experience. I had chosen to create MORE chaos instead of choosing to remain calm in my storm. In the end, everything worked out the way it should have and all my worry, anger, and stress was a waste of my time. I sacrificed my serenity in order to feel justified in accusing someone else of my painful experience.
Why do we do this? The calm and love that Mastin talks about really is a miracle. And it really is the peak of fulfillment. It is easy to feel like we deserve to be angry about others' actions and angry about situations we experience. The high road however, is to accept whatever part we had in it, accept humanity, and move on with Love. This creates true happiness and peace of mind. If you have taken part in the frustration and anger at times, ask yourself: is it really worth the energy? Is is really worth losing your serenity?
At our very core, we were born to be the full unique expression of Love that we are. When we do this, miracles happen and we step into a way of living and being that far surpasses even our own understanding. It requires that we take responsibility, focus on the solution and find peace within the chaos of our lives." - Mastin Kipp
I read this today and felt a wave of conviction. Oftentimes it is just second nature to pass the blame off to someone else for the situations in my life. I had a moment today where I was angry, pissed off, feeling very sorry for myself, and out of my mind in a paniced frenzy. I had allowed my thoughts to get out of control, but took no credit for it. In my chaos that seemed so big, I could barely function in the tasks that I was doing at the time. I was flustered. The words of a friend echoed in my mind: "if it is urgent, it's probably not important; if it is important, it probably is not urgent." So, I focused on grounding my mind. My situation really was not as HUGE as I was making it. People deal with lots of bigger things. Then, I started to see how little responsibility I had taken for the experience. I had chosen to create MORE chaos instead of choosing to remain calm in my storm. In the end, everything worked out the way it should have and all my worry, anger, and stress was a waste of my time. I sacrificed my serenity in order to feel justified in accusing someone else of my painful experience.
Why do we do this? The calm and love that Mastin talks about really is a miracle. And it really is the peak of fulfillment. It is easy to feel like we deserve to be angry about others' actions and angry about situations we experience. The high road however, is to accept whatever part we had in it, accept humanity, and move on with Love. This creates true happiness and peace of mind. If you have taken part in the frustration and anger at times, ask yourself: is it really worth the energy? Is is really worth losing your serenity?
Humility
If you humble yourself God is willing to teach you priceless lessons. Empty your mind and be like a child.
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