We all have our own problems and pain to own and address, but how often do we take on the pain of those around us? I like to own LOTS of junk that isn't mine, unfortunately. I get to feeling guilty if I meet someone who doesn't have a home, doesn't have a ride to work, doesn't have a supportive family, doesn't have lunch to eat, doesn't have a phone, doesn't have a great relationship, doesn't have money, etc etc... Most of the time, I fall into the trap of allowing myself to take the blame for all sorts of things that I didn't have any control over, and then I end up trying to fix a problem that was never mine to begin with. If I could simply stop for a mintute to examine the situation, usually I can see how that person's actions allowed them to have the consequences they are experiencing and it is NONE of my business.
I have no business rescuing my dear friends from consequences that God has chosen to let them experience. In fact, it is detrimental to step in the way of a path that God has created for that person's good. If I had not had some of the failures that I have and do experience, I would not be the person that I am today. Now, although this is a loving perspective to have toward my beloved sojorners, I tend to become uncomfortable with others' pain to the point that I allow judgment to creep in. If I can't fix it... then let me judge it. Oh boy. Somehow this makes me feel distanced from others' pain that I so desperately do not want to feel guilty about. My mind screams in justification: "it's not my fault!" And goodness, who do I even need to convince?
Now that I am aware of this tendancy, I have really pondered the approriate way to handle the uncomfort of pain. I believe balanced and loving response to those around me experiencing their own pain is to love them through it. It took me a long time to realize that I could genuinely love someone without rescuing them from their experience. I can empathize without feeling guilty OR judgmental. If I tried to own everyone's pain, I would become emotionally and physically drained. Believe me, I've done it. I don't think I have ever felt so miserable as when I attempted to take care of everyone but myself. I was never meant to have that kind of power. On the flip side, when I am content with what I am SUPPOSED to own, I am much happier.
It is still stretching to watch those that I love go through painful circumstances. Although sometimes I feel uncomfortable, I try to keep my focus on loving them and letting them own their own journey. Pain is part of life, and it is not my job to make it go away. How do you react to painful experiences around you? Do you own them? Or do you love people THROUGH them?
I have no business rescuing my dear friends from consequences that God has chosen to let them experience. In fact, it is detrimental to step in the way of a path that God has created for that person's good. If I had not had some of the failures that I have and do experience, I would not be the person that I am today. Now, although this is a loving perspective to have toward my beloved sojorners, I tend to become uncomfortable with others' pain to the point that I allow judgment to creep in. If I can't fix it... then let me judge it. Oh boy. Somehow this makes me feel distanced from others' pain that I so desperately do not want to feel guilty about. My mind screams in justification: "it's not my fault!" And goodness, who do I even need to convince?
Now that I am aware of this tendancy, I have really pondered the approriate way to handle the uncomfort of pain. I believe balanced and loving response to those around me experiencing their own pain is to love them through it. It took me a long time to realize that I could genuinely love someone without rescuing them from their experience. I can empathize without feeling guilty OR judgmental. If I tried to own everyone's pain, I would become emotionally and physically drained. Believe me, I've done it. I don't think I have ever felt so miserable as when I attempted to take care of everyone but myself. I was never meant to have that kind of power. On the flip side, when I am content with what I am SUPPOSED to own, I am much happier.
It is still stretching to watch those that I love go through painful circumstances. Although sometimes I feel uncomfortable, I try to keep my focus on loving them and letting them own their own journey. Pain is part of life, and it is not my job to make it go away. How do you react to painful experiences around you? Do you own them? Or do you love people THROUGH them?
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