Monday, November 21, 2011

Feelings and Failure

The last few days for me have been dark and a little tormented. Sometimes I get in this rut where I just can't seem to shake off my negative feelings. Yesterday, I became very frustrated with my inability to manage my own emotions and feelings. I felt like I was failing at every method of solution I tried. Today, as I am processing my feelings and the emotions I have experienced, I see that I would not be able to learn about myself and my path without experiencing a little frustration with myself. My frustration shows me areas in which I need to change. Not ways that others need to change for me, but ways that I need change. And sometimes, even in my frustration, I am not ready for that change, so I am merely experiencing the growing pains that prepare me for decisions. I can look forward to the time when I can act on my feelings and create change that I am happy with, instead of berating myself for the ways that I was unable to change yesterday. In this way, I am allowed to be aware of my feelings without being tyrannized by them.

Yesterday was dark, I am still disappointed with the ways I chose not to take care of myself, of the silence that I chose instead of speaking up, of the boundaries that I didn't set, and of the resentments I chose to hold. Even though yesterday is hard for me to accept, I am going to choose to be gentle with myself. I know I did the best I could with the circumstances I had. Failure is necessary to experience success. And I know if I am faithful to learn each day, I will be successful. How have your feelings and failures changed you?

1 comment:

  1. First step to recovery is seeing the problem. Prov. 24:16 For a righteous man may fall seven times
    And rise again,
    Proud of you Jill!

    ReplyDelete